Jan 16, 2021
Individuals, Identity, and Experience
Growing up in an Asian household is quite the experience. As a young child, I was taught many different things. Showing up to school everyday was a must, practicing the piano at home was not a choice, and earning the best grades possible was absolute. Even the way we are disciplined is like no other. My mom once made me kneel on the ground holding a pillow over my head as punishment. This method of teaching and discipline are believed to pave the way for a successful future. The lessons I’ve learned in the past have shaped me to become the person I am today. These character traits that I have built from experience and different communities, have ultimately contributed to my personal development and identity. For all of us, our identities are shaped through the experiences and recollections that we have created in our lifetime, whether good or bad.
In Catfish and Mandala, the author Andrew Pham takes us through his cultural journey in search of his identity. We see multiple instances in his past where he interacts with others, building relationships and to become the person he is today. Like many of us, Andrew was a straight A student who worked hard in school and earned a “safe” job. While searching for a job, his father always reminded him that he was “an Asian American man” living in America (Pham 25). When he received the job, his boss Paul specifically said that “[he] likes… oriental… workers” because they are good at math and engineering (Pham 25). Not wanting to conform to the stereotypes, Andrew quits his job and decides to start his journey. This experience led Andrew to believe that he was subject to racism and felt that he was very uncomfortable. At the same time, he feels as if he is not considered an Asian American, having no connection to his cultural heritage. This moment in time really proved that Andrew was a strong person in that he didn’t want to fit in with the stereotype. If he were to stay and continue working this job, it would have led to his demise, only making him more miserable. Taking control of his destiny, he travels back to Vietnam in order to seek his identity. Everyone has the power to create their own identity through the decisions they make and experiences they live out.
With Asian culture, a virtue that is heavily practiced is giving. In my family, my brother and I were always taught to give back. I am always reminded to be sure to cook food for my parents when they’re older and take care of them as they did for me as a child. At the age of 9, Andrew was in charge of his aunt’s store. As a young girl came in, she asked Andrew for fish sauce and cooking oil. Realizing that her family was poor, he felt bad and “handed her a fistful” of candy (Pham 54). This simple act of kindness becomes a part of his identity. To the girl, she will remember him as the nice boy who gave her candy for free. Everyone knows that at this age, candy could solve any of life’s problems.
Some experiences are more influential than others in a person’s lifetime. The most recent experiences really reflect on who I am at the present moment. As for Andrew, one of his later experiences as a man, shows who he is as a person. On his journey back to Vietnam, Andrew encounters a woman who has fainted in the city of Hoi An. As people are passing by, only coming to stare, Andrew decides to step in and “hire a motorbike driver to take her home” (Pham 289). This other act of kindness really goes to show that Andrew is a generous person. He did not have to stop and help this lady but decided to do so anyways. This active decision really goes a long way and defines him as a kindhearted person. It is now a part of his identity, that Andrew is a good and thoughtful person. The actions that we take show who we are as well.
Every single experience that an individual has becomes shapes who they are. Every experience. For this young 10 year old girl, “she is spending the summer with her extended family.” (Goodman 314). Though her parents are divorced, she still tries to make the best out of the situation. Her father having two wives, makes it hard for the girl to live a normal life. Often being confused with who she should call step aunt or step cousin, she takes it as is. The girl has learned to accept that and though many kids would not be happy or would not feel the same way about their parents, she claims that they all “are in the same family” (Goodman 314). Although many children would oftentimes push away their step parents, this ten year old recognizes that it doesn’t matter who they were before. The main thing is that they are together now and she puts it in a way where people would realize that she is the girl with an extended family. This unique experience and her reaction became a component of her identity.
It is thrilling to know that we are in control of our experiences and identities. However, not all things are able to control. This idea of not being in power of our identity can affect us in other ways. For Cierra Bailey, her family moved from the Oakland area to a suburban bubble in Livermore California, a city on the East side of the Bay Area. Like many other parents, they always want the best for their children. Her parents decided to move to a suburban community in order to “give their children better access to education and more resources” (Bailey). This uncontrollable experience forces us to grow and adapt to our environments. Her experience is correlated to the idea that human nature is affected by its environment. Through Bailey’s article, this idea is expressed when she “was forced to learn a set of survival skills at a very young age” (Bailey). Taken out of her comfortable community in Oakland, it was necessary for her to adjust because the environment was unfamiliar. She was able to grow in this uncomfortable community and share her thoughts with many other readers. A personal example of an uncontrollable experience was when my parents placed me into scouts. At first, I thought it was going to be a bust, but as time went on, I grew to like scouting. When I first joined, I was a very timid little boy. I recall standing in lines doing our patrol yells, only to hear silence out of my mouth. As time went by, I grew to learn and love being outdoors. Scouting really brought me out of my shell and I have become more confident with myself. The environment and community that has been a part of my life for over 7 years has made me become the person I am today. Without scouting, I would have never been able to see what camping is like and really experience the outdoors with a great group of people. The scouting community is also just very warm and inviting to all. Who knew that I would become the current President for my crew.
Experiences within our communities define who we are as individuals. Identities are an essential part of humans that are created by our surrounding environments. Without these unique and personal experiences, humans would not be able to build up our own individual personalities. Making decisions, whether big or small has ultimately become a part of our identity. The choices you make and the opportunities you strive for make you who you are.
